Friend or Foe?

Aristotle's view on friendship is detailed and consists of many more layers than I would ever attribute to the quality. According to him, friendship can be separated in three categories. To the simplest interpretation of these categories, I came upon the first as being friends of usefulness. These are the friendships that we acquire only because another one is useful to our own fufillment or success. For example, businessmen often have these types of relationships because it is their main priority to excel in the business world, thus need to have friends that can aid in their path.

The next relationship Aristotle describes is one of pleasure. Sometimes, we form friendships that fufill a pleasurable instinct in us. For example, we often have friends that are witty and make us laugh or ones that like to talk about the same things we do. These friends and ones of usefulness are temporary, according to Aristotle. Because our pleasures and needs tend to change over time, any friend of ours that falls under these categories will no longer be necessary in our lives.

The third relationship that is mentioned is the purest form of friendship. It is one of "reciprocated good". This type of friendship has both parties seeking good from the other and thus returning it as well. It is said that this will always be a long lasting relationship.

From a personal view, I can agree with Aristotle, but I would have to slightly mend his points to equal mine. I believe that a true friend needs to fufill all three qualities that he mentioned. Of course this would be in a perfect world, but I find that when my personal needs or likes change, those of my best friends do too. In order to be friends, I do not think that it is necessary to know every aspect of someone's life, but it usually happens that way anyways. The best of friends are made over long periods of time.

Enemy is a harsh word, but I do believe they exist. I do not believe, however, that one should condemn another just because his or her friend has. But as I said before, it may just happen that way with the best of friends. A good reason to have an enemy, or someone you respect less that a good friend, would be if they have disrespected you in a way that demoralizes or patronizes you. If a true characteristic of someone makes you feel uncomfortable or upset, there is no reason to give full respect.

The last piece that I want to talk about is the issue of friendships with authority. Is it possible to be friends with your boss? Your teacher? Your coach? Your mom? I think that friendship is not the appropriate term for relationships such as these. According to Aristotle, he believes that the "loving should itself be proportionate." The better person, or person of more authority, or more useful one should recieve more respect from the other. I agree with this, but I still feel that there can always be a very strong relationship between these two parties. Authoritative family members especially deserve the upmost respect and a child should be the one who is disciplined. I do not think that friends can occur within authority, only shifts in respect. However, I am open to the views of others as well.